Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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