I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
