I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
