The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
