I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
