I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this boner is exhausting
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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