I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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