How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
