I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize