"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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