apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
