you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
