This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
