some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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