she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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