I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
