I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
