Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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