her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
