Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
