Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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