Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
