they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
