Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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