Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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