You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
