And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
