Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
