she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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