The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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