dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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