i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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