Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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