sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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