Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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