Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
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Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.