if you like me you must not know who I am
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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