Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
