If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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