why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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