M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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