yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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