Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.