We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.