I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse