what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.