Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.