I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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