Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
