Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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