Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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