I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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