Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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