Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
