im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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