I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
there is puke in my bra ... again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
