he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
