R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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