wrigley field is MILF paradise
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
