Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
