If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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